Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
Queues for the bathroom don't exist
You can open all your own jars
All your orgasms are real
You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around
You can go to the bathroom without a support group
When your work is criticized, you understand that everyone doesn't secretly hate you
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
Nobody wonders if you swallow!!!!!
If someone forgets to invite you to something, it means that they forgot to invite you. It doesn't mean that they hate you, and he or she can still be your friend.
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry
Chocolate is just another snack
Flowers fix everything
You never have to worry about other people's feelings
You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours
Reverse parking is easy
Window shopping is what you do when you buy windows
You don't have to clean your house if the meter reader's coming
You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. In fact you encourage them
Car mechanics tell you the truth
You can quietly watch a game on tv with a buddy for hours without ever thinking he's mad at you
You never look at a baby's head and cringe
The whole world is your urinal
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
One mood, all the time
The remote control is yours and yours alone
No such thing as hovering half an inch above the toilet seat
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them