Mild Obsession

by Bruce Longman

Allison didn’t know why she stole the necklace. It wasn’t even real gold.

Perhaps an almost forgotten relic from her past had somehow crept back to torment her, or possibly she just wanted to do something bad - just this once. A minor aberration only and not indicative of a trend she was sure, but she didn’t pause to analyse her motives.

She just took it.

Slipped the plated gold chain into her handbag without thinking and made for the door as unobtrusively as possible. She looked neither left nor right, her entire body charged with adrenaline, focused on the freedom of the street only meters away. She approached to within a few steps of the doorway when she felt a hand grab her shoulder. Cold fingers of dread knotted her stomach.

‘Darling! So here you are! I’ve been looking all over for you.’

She spun around to see the smiling face of a complete stranger. He slipped his arm around her waist and tugged at her forcefully enough to guide her away from the doorway, but gently enough not to appear out of the ordinary. ‘Come on, honey. There’s something I want to show you at the jewellery counter.’

Stunned into silence by the man’s extraordinary behaviour, she only managed to stutter, ‘Wha...what-’

‘Shut up and play along,’ the stranger snapped under his breath. ‘There’s two store detectives standing at the exit waiting to grab you as you walk out.’ She made as if to turn round, but he quickly added, ‘Don’t look now, you idiot!’

The man led her back to the rows of imitation gold chains. ‘Aren’t these lovely, darling?’ he asked, reverting to a normal tone.

Allison was too numb to reply.

He leaned across to remove one of the chains from the rack with his left hand. With a shock, Allison realised that his right hand had slid into her handbag. He pulled out the stolen chain and quickly flipped it into his left hand, the deft movement shielded by their combined bodies.

He held both chains up to the light. ‘No, on second thoughts, these are far too cheap and tacky for you.’ He returned them to the rack and smiled condescendingly. ‘Never mind, honey. We can try that new place downtown.’

Arm still clamped around her waist, he led her towards the door. There were indeed two men in dark suits standing just inside the doorway; an older man in his fifties accompanied by a youth barely out of his teens. Both had the square-shouldered attentive look of security people and were staring at her coldly. She wondered at how she had completely missed seeing them.

As they walked past the two men, Allison’s saviour gave each a friendly nod fortified with a bright grin. The older detective glowered back at him but the younger man had the temerity to smile and give her a two fingered salute. Her face burned bright with shame.

They sailed through the doorway on to the pavement. Allison began shaking as reaction set in and she reached out to steady herself against a lamp post.

‘First time?’ the stranger asked with mock sarcasm, a hint of humour showing at the up turned corners of his mouth.

She was about to nod, but then suddenly overcome with an inexplicable urge to be truthful to this tall stranger at any cost, she shook her head vigorously instead. ‘Well...uh...not since I was seventeen.’

‘Okay, keep it that way.’ The man smiled again and then without warning, spun on his heels and walked briskly down the street.

She stared at his receding back for a few stunned seconds and then quickly set off after him, but it was too late. He walked up to a where a petite dark haired woman and a pretty teenage girl were waiting at the corner. One arm around the woman’s waist and the other around what Allison took to be his daughter’s shoulders, he disappeared around the corner.

He was gone and she didn’t even know his name.

Over the next few weeks the memory of the stranger who had saved her from grave embarrassment, not to mention possible arrest, soon began to fade. What had motivated him to help her she did not know, but thought it best to place the entire humiliating incident right out of her mind.

It was nearly a month after the incident that she set off to see the admissions officer at what she hoped would be Jennifer’s new school. Her daughter would be turning six soon, and it was time to start making arrangements for her education. Just thinking about Jennifer brought a smile to her lips. Allison doted on her only child, the only decent thing that had come out of a self-destructive relationship with a capricious young reprobate whose obsession with liquor had only been exceeded by his abhorrence of his own daughter and anything to do with her, thus including Allison.

The school’s reception area was empty. Allison settled into an easy chair and picked up a magazine to while away the last few minutes before her appointment.

‘Seen any nice necklaces lately?’

She dropped the magazine in surprise. ‘You!’

Her resourceful benefactor smiled down at her. ‘Sorry about that, couldn’t resist. But, don’t worry, your minor indiscretion is forgotten.’ He paused. ‘Anyway, as our kids obviously go to the same school, I guess we should try to be friends. Name’s Michael Peters.’

Allison introduced herself describing her reason for being at the school. Michael had two daughters of his own, fourteen and eleven, he announced proudly, and was to see the head mistress about a small altercation his youngest had caused in class. It was nothing new apparently. Allison quickly warmed to Michael, although he was much older than her - she estimated him to be close to forty. He had a quiet unassuming demeanour that flowed effortlessly, making her feel instantly at home in his presence.

When the secretary announced that both the admissions officer and the head were delayed at the same meeting and would they perhaps like to reschedule, both Allison and Michael replied, ‘We’ll wait,’ in perfect unison and then grinned at each other self-consciously.

After a further thirty minutes, Allison had already begun to feel as if she had known Michael all her life and was mildly disappointed when the head mistress finally arrived.

Once her appointment was over she looked hopefully to see if Michael had somehow decided to wait for her, but then reasoned, why should he? He was probably just making idle conversation and no doubt considered her a frustrated kleptomaniac anyway. Besides, he was clearly very married and she should certainly not be entertaining any thoughts of other men, especially the older variety complete with wife and kids. Robert was quite enough already.

She was therefore surprised to discover Michael bending over the open bonnet of a Ford twin-cab pick-up just outside the school’s entrance.

‘That should do it,’ he remarked brushing off his hands and slamming the bonnet closed. ‘Damn thing wouldn’t start.’

He seemed somewhat different from before. Twitchy. Nervous, perhaps. Which made her realise that there was in all likelihood nothing wrong with his car, which made her surprise rapidly turn to irritation. Damn him! He was going to try to pick her up. To think that she had found him interesting when all he wanted was an easy lay!

She was therefore not in the least surprised when he invited her for a cup of coffee at a café around the corner, but she was astonished to hear herself say, ‘Yes, I’d love to.’

Coffee stretched into lunch as they spoke non-stop for over three hours. Michael was different. Intelligent, knowledgeable and above all, easy going. Sexy too, in an older rugged type of way. His easy smile was infectious and his eyes positively twinkled with something she could only describe as boyish naughtiness. While she would not have rated him as an out and out extrovert, conversation flowed easily from his lips. But as time progressed she found herself talking more and more about her own life. He seemed to have an intuitive ability that encouraged her to share some of her most intimate thoughts and feelings with ease. Things she hadn’t spoken of in years came out effortlessly and naturally as if talking to a very old and dear friend.

It was after three when she was reluctantly forced to drag herself away. She had to fetch Jennifer from play school and by then Robert would be waiting.

Dear sweet Robert! He loved her so much. And Jennifer too, as if she were his own flesh and blood. Robert - a mild mannered insurance broker - had come into her life just when she had begun to despair of ever finding happiness. His gentle calm had evened out her ruffles and given her hope of reaching an end to the turmoil of emotion that had haunted her for years.

She did love him. Desperately. But he would always be good old dependable Robert. Great on steadiness, short on thrills.

As the days passed, Allison found herself unable to put Michael out of her mind. She admonished herself for developing a mild infatuation with an older married guy - he was almost fifteen years her senior - but it didn’t work. Not even staring at Robert’s bright shiny engagement ring on her finger made any difference. She worried that she was somehow regressing to what she had been before - the shoplifting incident was already a bad omen. But somehow she could not control herself and she knew that it would only be a question of time...

It took her three full weeks before she caved in and dialled the number on the business card Michael had given her, and even then it was only after a particularly nasty fight with Robert. Not his fault either. It never was. He had just begun to irritate her of late, that was all. Although she couldn’t for the life of her think why.

‘Deep Water, good morning.’

Michael owned a small but successful diving charter business operating from the bay. Not expecting him to answer the telephone himself, she was momentarily startled to hear his deep voice.

‘Uh...hi.’

‘Allison! It’s so good to hear from you.’ The pleasure in his voice was genuine and immediate and she was flattered to realise that he had recognised her voice from that one syllable. In less than a second whatever reserve she had left crumbled and she embarked upon what was to be the first of many phone calls. And lunches. And quiet walks in the park when she was troubled and needed someone to talk to. Share with. To gain and give encouragement.

Even after seeing him every week for three months and talking to him almost every day, she still felt a rush of adrenaline every time she saw him. She just couldn’t get used to that damnably disarming smile of his. On the surface they were just friends, but she knew it stretched to beyond that. Although Michael didn’t show it, she instinctively knew he felt the same way. It was in his eyes, and the way he greeted her. At first with a shy kiss on the cheek and then more boldly on the lips. A habit that sat uncomfortably on her, but one that she made no attempt to discourage. Couldn’t, for some unfathomable reason that was beyond her comprehension.

She knew Michael was strongly attracted to her - against his better judgement she suspected - but it was there, like an unseen force between them. She was not unaware of the effect her long auburn hair, peaches and cream complexion and heart shaped face had on men. She was damned attractive and she knew it. Didn’t play on it, though, like she had in the past, now she just accepted herself for what she was.

Their first dinner together was at a quiet restaurant on the far side of town where no one would recognise them. He was supposedly on a night dive and her excuse to Robert had been that she simply wanted to be alone. A request that he had been hearing more and more often.

As the night wore on a new dimension entered their relationship. Subtly at first, but then with growing momentum. Allison became acutely conscious of the fact that the restaurant was attached to a small inn. Michael’s choice, of course. But then neither had she objected.

Once Michael settled the bill, they walked silently to her car. She reached for her keys but he intercepted her hand and gently drew her into his arms. She found herself unable, or unwilling, to resist and rested her cheek against his chest. They stood still for a few minutes and then he bent down to kiss her. Her lips opened willingly under his and for a few brief seconds a searing ball of passion mushroomed within her. Then she pulled away.

‘No, Michael,’ she said breathlessly.

He remained silent, that maddening grin just barely discernible in the light. But the smile did not reach his eyes. ‘I...I hope you don’t think I make a habit of...uh...this type of thing, Allison.’

‘No, Michael,’ she said again. ‘I know you don’t. But we have to remain friends. That’s all. Friends.’

Then, not trusting herself to speak any further, she tumbled into her car and drove away tires squealing on the tarmac, tears pricking her eyes.

She would not allow him to make love to her. It would mess up all she had strived so hard to put back together. She knew that as well as she knew anything. A few years ago, in her wild and reckless phase, well, she had no doubt that she would not have hesitated for a second. But that was then, and now things had changed. She was a new person. She had a good job and a brand new set of values. She had Jennifer. And Robert.

Allison determined to put Michael out of her mind.

And failed miserably, unable to stop herself from phoning him as early as the very next morning. She was not in love with him, she told herself. It was just infatuation.

A mild obsession, that’s what it was.

Michael didn’t discuss his feelings for her either, but she took it that he felt the same. Fatal attraction, he occasionally joked. But he loved his wife, that she knew, and even if he hadn’t confessed to that fact, she would have seen it in his eyes anyway. On those rare occasions when he spoke of her it was there; the agony of betrayal rested heavily on him, but neither could he seem to check his roller coaster ride to self-destruction either.

Allison had seen Bronwyn Peters only on one other occasion. Accidentally, walking out of the school. Slim, dark and extremely attractive (for an older woman, she couldn’t help adding, beset with an irrational jealousy), Michael’s wife was thirty-seven - twelve years older than Allison.

Occasionally Allison wondered what it would be like to have a long term relationship with Michael. Without the extra baggage of his wife and Robert, of course. Exciting and unique she had no doubt, the thought sending shivers down her spine. But it would never be, so whenever that musing entered her consciousness, she put it straight out of her mind. Michael would never leave Bronwyn - or his kids - and there was Robert, of course. She could never hurt her fiancé; she loved him far too much.

Friends. Best friends. That’s the way it would have to remain. Having an affair with Michael was out of the question, but then neither was she prepared to give him up. So she avoided dinners in quiet neighbourhoods close to equally quiet hotels as she had little faith in her powers of resistance and was not prepared to take any chances. Fortunately Michael didn’t ask.

Until one evening a few months later. She tried to say no, but the words never reached her lips. As usual her heart ruled over her head.

Throughout dinner she was racked with conflicting emotions. Horror at what might happen - what irrevocable havoc one night of indulgence might provoke, and shivery excitement at the prospect. She felt electrified, as if she were wired to a million volts and at the same time incredibly sad at what those feelings represented.

Allison was out of control.

Much later she drove home slowly, tears streaming down her cheeks. She knew what she had to do.

Robert was at home asleep and he opened the door bleary-eyed but nevertheless happy to see her as always.

‘Allison! I...I didn’t expect to see you so...uh...late.’

‘No,’ she replied lifelessly. She felt dead inside. But she knew it was only short term, it had to be. She would endure. Her head had finally won and she was a survivor if nothing else.

‘Robert?’ She brightened slightly. ‘Do you remember how you always spoke of moving to the country and setting up your own brokerage?’

‘Yes, once we were married,’ he replied, a frown creasing his usually wrinkle free face. ‘But your job, you love the city...’

‘Let’s do it. Now! Forget the city. I don’t want any part of it anymore.’

Allison watched Robert’s beaming face with a curious detachment. He really did love her and she realised that it was his love that would heal the hurt in time.

She knew she was making the right decision.

ENDS